Does life ever feel like it’s too much?! As though the world is against you, as though you can’t get out from under the heavy, bleak, gray cloud of life. Maybe it’s a particular situation in your life that you just can’t change, and finding “acceptance” for it seems more impossible than pulling a kicking and screaming tantruming child off of the floor. But, that’s just it! Did you ever stop to wonder how YOUR inner child doing? Is he/she on board with the situation? Have you asked them?
I’m an AVID supporter of talking with your inner child. Sound weird? Ok, think of it then as talking to the emotional, sometimes even subconscious, part of you that motivates and controls a lot of your moods and actions. I guarantee this integral and influential aspect of you does not get the attention it deserves, thus the tantrum.
It may take the form of addictive behavior, moody brooding, or even a headache. This part of you is angry, and upset. This part of you has often been conditioned from a young age to be reactive to certain emotional triggers and stressors in life. Maybe you always respond negatively when polite criticism and suggestions are offered. Yet, in life, productive conversation can lead to incredible growth and success. Your inner child, or what could loosely be referred to as the ego, needs support. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t ready to do the work. Ponder this: Vulnerability is the greatest strength of all.
There are sages and philosophers who are being quoted thousands of years after their death. And, in this internet age of gigabytes and nanoseconds, these epic quotes that stop time are worth noting.
This one might be the secret to life:
“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” – Confucius
So, allow yourself to go inward. Allow yourself to feel again and explore that which you shy away from.
How To Talk To Your Inner Child:
Start simple and work up to the deep stuff. Talking to your inner child on a daily basis, even for a quick chat, can have a monumental effect on your happiness and emotional stability. After you have gained his/her trust, when you are ready, you can begin to address heavier emotions.
Self Help at Home: Talk to your Inner Child.
1. Get Quiet:
Getting into the practice of meditating 5-10 minutes a day, can help you to quiet the chatter so you can hear her/him. Set the timer on your phone, so the pressure is off. Take some deep breathes and get quiet.
2. An easy first question can be:
How are you? What’s going on? Are you upset? What would you like to tell me?
Then wait, and listen. What’s the first thing that comes? It may be simple, it may be profound. But, give it your attention.
3. Use a Childlike Name:
This is not a necessity, but it may help. Many people give their inner child a name that allows the innocence to come forward. For example, people called me Jenny when I was younger so that’s the name I use when addressing my inner child.
4. Build TRUST with your inner child:
When your inner child tells you something, listen and give her/him what they are asking for. The brain doesn’t know the difference between the imagined and the physical. So, thinking about and visualizing something can produce the same emotional response.
If your inner child says, “I don’t want to meet with the boss today, I’m scared and I want to go to the park and eat sweet tarts candy”. Simply tell her/him, “Fine, you can do that all day, play on the swings and sit in the grass. Have fun!” Tell her/him, “I’m the adult, I can take care of this while you play.” Then take just 1 minute and see your inner child there having fun. BRAVO! You’ve just instilled more confidence. The more you can do this, the more your inner child begins to TRUST you. As the fear melts away, you, the adult, gets to embrace more of life!
Leave A Comment